Needs Must
by Lilac Summers
Summary: It's been a few months since Donna re-joined the Doctor after her brain decided not to explode, which is good. Not good? Having to talk to your alien traveling companion about your *needs.* Yes, those kinds of needs.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Needs Must, 1/2  
Author: Lilac Summers  
Characters: Ten/Donna  
Classification: Ust and humor  
Rating: This chapter PG-13, for language and suggestive content

A/N: I really shouldn't be starting something new before I finish everything else but...

* * *

He was tall and broad-shouldered, with dark hair and green eyes. His strong, square jaw was just stubbly enough to send her into a little Indiana Jones fantasy, and when he smiled at her there was an adorable little dimple in his right cheek.

In short, absolutely everything that appealed to Donna Noble. Especially a Donna who hadn't had a real honest-to-goodness, no-strings-attached flirt since a failed wedding, failed virtual marriage, failed real marriage, and a failed youaren'tsmartanymorebutyourbrainwon 'texplode!metacrisis.

The Doctor was off somewhere, looking for a thingamajig that was supposed to repair the TARDIS' heating system (or maybe it was the cooling system? Perhaps the ice box was on the fritz? To be honest she hadn't been paying that much attention.)

Point was he wasn't _there _and it might be hours until he got back, while the man across the way was giving her the eye.

Donna swung her long curtain of hair behind her shoulder and cast him a flirtatious smirk that blossomed into a full-fledged smile when he started to make his way to her. It'd been a while, but apparently she still had it!

And then before she knew it she and Rafael (Rafael! Now that was a real name, not something stupid like 'Doctor') were having some fantastic frothy drinks from a nearby booth and he was sending out all the right signals. She playfully placed her hand on his very nice, tight pectorals, leaning in as the crowd of market-goers jostled her from behind. She may have groped him just a teeny tiny bit, but he didn't seem to mind.

"How about an early supper? Right now, at my place; I could cook for you," he invited.

Hell if she didn't know what _that _was code for, because even if this was a human outpost in the 37th century, some stuff was just universal. She sent him an inviting glance from under her lashes as he reached up to cover the hand on his chest with his own. She leaned in just that necessary inch more to press up against him and make it clear she understood and agreed with what he was really proposing.

"That would be lovel-"

"Hello there!" came the cheerful intrusion as a hand suddenly speared between her and the hunk, deftly untangling her grip from Rafael's and replacing it with his own.

"I'm the Doctor! And you are?" he shook Rafael's hand frenetically, forcing Donna back a step if she didn't want to get beaned in the eye.

Before Rafael could respond with his name, the Doctor was barreling on, still shaking his hand enthusiastically. "Look at you, making friends so quickly. Rather _friendly_ friends. But you can never have too many friends, even if the people you meet are _too_ friendly, you understand, almost _suspiciously_ friendly if I dare say. But then what's the point of having friends if they aren't friendly, amIright? And OH!"

Both Donna and Rafael jumped at the sudden exclamation.

"Oh! I had forgotten, Donna, to tell you that we really must get going because as much as I love Mahla-Hao in the 37th century, with its fantastic two suns - and isn't it weird that it's not hotter here than you would expect, with two suns...well, I say weird, when it's really not weird at all, you see, the planetary orbit is at just the right angle so that no one place gets the full brunt of both suns' heat at any one time, it's fascinating, Donna, I must tell you all about it when we get back to the TARDIS - I finally found that piece I was looking for and we need to go fix the pool's auto-heat setting as quickly as possible because the water's been freezing for the past 200 years and I quite suddenly and urgently fancy a dip. There's really no better exercise than swimming, even though you know I love the running, it's ever so bracing and gets the hearts pumping, but swimming is quite better on the joints, yes quite better, and you can never be too careful with your joints, Donna, I hope I've told you that before because it truly is worth repeating! You're probably wishing you could take a dip in the old pool this very second, wouldn't you-"

"No, I wouldn't fancy a dip in the pool. I was just arranging some supper plans here with-" broke in Donna desperately, knowing the Doctor wouldn't wind down anytime soon. It was nigh impossible finding an opening in one of his epic run-on sentences.

"Oh no, _we_ can't stay here, though how kind of you to invite _us_ for a meal, Rrrrrafael!" The Doctor rolled the 'r' in Rafael's name exaggeratedly. "Alas, no can do this time, compadre. Ooh, no, don't ever let me say that word again, this mouth doesn't do Spanish well. But Donna if you get this kind man's number I'm sure we could return one day. Mind you," he patted a dazed Rafael's shoulder in happy camaraderie, "probably not in time to meet _you_ again. Your great great grandson, however, we might be able to catch up with assuming he keeps the same number as yours and really what are the odds of that but in any case one can hope, hmm? Ah, Donna, seriously, you've dallied too long and didn't I just tell you that i need to fix that pool ASAP?"

With another friendly pat to Rafael's back that almost sent the other man sprawling, the Doctor grabbed Donna's hand and began to haul her away.

"But wait, I was going to-and he-"

"No time now, Donna! Blimey but you can talk! Maybe next time you'll let the poor man or his great great grandson get a word in edgewise and then you won't have wasted so much..." he blabbered on, soliloquizing on the merits of time management.

Donna only had time to cast one last woebegone look Rafael's way, as he stood, dazed, watching her get pulled away without even the chance of exchanging numbers as the Doctor had suggested.

* * *

Donna tossed and turned, huffily pounding the pillows under her head as if they'd personally insulted her. The room was hot, but if she kicked off the covers then she was cold. In an effort to cool off, she had abandoned her nightgown to slip nude between the sheets, only to lay there for a minute before scrabbling for the gown once more.

With the way she was feeling, it was best if she was naked as little as possible. God knew there was only so much self-lovin' that would do any good, and she was far past that point. Being naked might inspire her to do things she really, really shouldn't even be thinking about.

Like walk down the hall. To find a certain alien. And climb into his bed to slide up against his blessedly cooler body.

_Arrrgh. Bad thoughts. Bad thoroughly-delicious thoughts._

Truth was, Donna was horny. She'd reached that point where quick and easy self-helped orgasms weren't making a dent anymore. She missed the connection, the contact, the taste and touch and feel of man. She wanted the weight of a body pressing hers down, a hot, hard body (or a cool, long, wiry one). She wanted lips on hers, dueling tongues (would it finally shut him up?). She wanted a man's face buried in her neck, whispering words in her ear (perhaps in a long-forgotten language) as she wrapped her legs around strong (slender, maybe even bony) hips.

It was getting really bad. Stare at the Doctor during his minor bouts of oral fixation and have mini orgasms type-of-bad. Want to rip off his pinstripes to see if he was really just skin and bones underneath type of bad.

Though, if she were honest she would admit those were symptoms of a problem much larger than just needing to throw her leg over someone. Those were symptoms of her being increasingly sure she was in lov-

No. nononononononono. None of that! No point to those kinds of thoughts, anyway, not like anything would ever happen with _him. _She'd just have to live with these annoying, growing feelings, and be a big girl about it. She'd known what she was getting into from the very beginning – he'd made it very clear. _God forbid he find out and start pitying her, like Martha! _

No, this was her problem, no one else's. Anyway, what she needed to do was stop thinking moronic romantic nonsense and focus on the solution. And the solution for cosmic horniness was what she'd been trying to do for the past month with no success: find herself a man for a few hours of satisfying relief so she could stop thinking about her hormones and amusing herself with thoughts about carnally attacking her traveling companion. But it always came to naught; anytime she got close to reeling a man in, something invariably went wrong. Explosions. Revolutions. Flesh-eating hamsters. Clueless Gallifreyans intent on introductions.

She grumpily stared up at the dim ceiling. It hadn't seemed like such an issue the first time she'd traveled with the Doctor. Non-stop adventure and the lingering burn of Lance's contempt had kept sex far from her mind. But now? How long had it been now? Some cutie at a bar, about six months after her divorce with Shaun was finalized. Eh, he hadn't rocked her world, but he'd done okay for himself and, mainly, had served to get her out of the funk her failed marriage and lost memories left her in. That would have been about 8 months before the Doctor found her again, and since then...that would make it...oh god, just embarrassingly too long! No wonder she was climbing the walls.

Enough was enough. It was time to stop sulking and acting like she was some virginal heroine in a novel, waiting for the cosmos to align for her or some such rubbish. She needed to just take control of things. And if what kept her from doing what had to be done was that she was always interrupted, then she had to stop the interruptions. Stop trying to do things slyly and get some buy-in from the one who was always interrupting.

Yes, it was time to have a very candid talk with her Doctor.

* * *

Donna loitered by the library door, peeking inside to spy on the Doctor. He was sprawled out comfortably on the sofa, reading. She straightened and tightened the belt on her robe, readying for battle. _Like ripping off a bandaid! _she told herself sternly. Fast and ruthless.

"Doctor," she said briskly, striding into the library as if she owned the ship. "We gotta talk."

The Doctor looked up from some enormous tome, peering above the rims of his stupid-not-hot-at-all-sexy-get-it-together-Donna! brainy specs. Donna quelled the clenching low in her belly through pure force of will.

"Hmmm? What's on your mind, Donna?" He reached for his tea, taking a small swallow, then licking off the moisture that remained on his bottom lip_._

Donna stared, entranced, before shaking herself out of it. "Er...right. Right. Look, thing is..." she managed, before trailing off uncertainly.

She could do this, _she could_. It didn't have to be awkward at all, telling the Doctor she needed a night of horizontal mambo-ing. She took in a deep breath through her nose. Opened her mouth, closed it again, then hemmed and hawed as embarrassment crept in.

He blinked back at her, waiting patiently, eyes wide and guileless as a fawn. Innocent as a lamb.

"Erm...Ah…uh." Okay, maybe she couldn't. She deflated, losing her battlefield stance and resorting to fidgeting. This was utterly humiliating.

The Doctor, observing his companion go from tempestuous Valkyrie to blushing schoolgirl, became very concerned. He'd thought she was going to demand another spa retreat (since the last one was kind of derailed by flesh-eating hamsters). Now, watching her wring her hands together, he had to revise the severity of the situation.

"Donna?"

Donna flapped a hand his way. "Nah, never mind. Just forget it."

"No, Donna. You obviously have something important to say. I'm listening." He pulled off his glasses, folded them neatly, and sent what he hoped was a reassuring smile his companion's way.

_Okay, we're all adults here. No big. He's my best mate. Pretend he's like…an alien Nerys. A Nerys with a penis. _And if she didn't say anything now, it would only get worse and worse and god forbid she actually end up doing something monumentally stupid in her desperation.

Trying to grasp onto that elusive courage, she carefully edged onto the couch. The Doctor obligingly shifted his feet over for her.

"Well, Doctor, thing is…I'm a woman." She skewed her gaze his way, to check if he was following so far.

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, my amazing powers of deduction had figured that part out."

She flushed crimson and rounded on him with a pointy finger, stabbing it into his sternum. "You want me to talk to you or not?" More nodding, this time a bit more enthusiastically, from the Doctor answered her question. "Then mind the lip, yeah?"

Sullen nodding, now.

"So as I was saying, _being_ a woman means that there are times when…um, well, you see, it's like this. Sometimes, sometimes women -" Donna tried to continue.

The penny dropped amid Donna's fumbling explanation and the Doctor heaved a great sigh of relief. Oh, silly Donna! He cut off her faltering speech by grasping her flailing hands. "Oh, Donna. I already know what you're trying to say, and there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

Donna stopped mid explanation. "No?"

"Of course not. I'm a doctor, after all." Adorable humans, getting embarrassed about the most natural things. He graced her with a kind, indulgent smile.

"You are not!"

"I _am_!" he defended, insulted. "I know more about medicine than any of your paltry human physicians do!"

"Oi! Paltry?!"

"Yes," he said firmly, now getting up and tugging Donna along after him. "And you forget that I've had many human female companions. I know just what you need." He dragged Donna determinedly behind him. "Of course I can help you out. You should have asked earlier."

"You do?!" squawked Donna. "You can? I should have?! Doctor, I thought you said you just wanted a ma—"

They rounded a last corner, the Doctor hauling a struggling (only half-hearted struggling, mind) Donna. And Donna found herself, quite unexpectedly and disappointingly, in the medbay with a cheery Doctor opening a cabinet and proudly offering her a box of Feminax.

She stared at the little box before peering up at a too-smug Doctor. "Cramps? Seriously? You think a grown woman of 37 years has to ask you how to deal with _menstrual cramps?_ Who the bloody hell do you think buys the stuff to stock in the flippin' med-bay to begin with?!"

"Donna!" he rebuked, holding the bright pink box protectively to his chest, "no need for such langua—"

"God save you, Spaceman, if you say a damn word about my fucking 'language' I will make you swallow those pills, box and all. And no, not everything that is wrong with a woman revolves around her period!"

The Doctor carefully placed the box back in the cabinet, closing the door with great dignity. He made a big show of miming a zipping motion over his mouth, graced her with what she liked to call "attentive wide-eyed Doctor look #3" and made an exaggerated 'go ahead, then' motion with his hands before shoving them in his pockets.

This conversation had obviously taken an unseen and unwanted detour, and Donna was no closer to spitting out the truth than before the Doctor reacted like typical clueless bloke. She really had expected better from her Martian, but apparently a bloke was a bloke was a bloke.

Donna clapped her hands over her face and scrubbed furiously, then took a long, calming breath. Maybe she could go more round-about. Take the scenic route, so to speak.

"Look, Doctor, you ever heard of an American show called 'Sex in the City'?"

The Doctor screwed his brow in confused thought, before brightening in remembrance. "Ah, yes, of course I do! Early 21st century. Sarah Jessica Parker, in fact, I'd bet money on being from the planet Herticose~XX981. Really quite obvious if you look at the bone structure. Ooh, Donna, do you want to go to Herticose-XX981? Really a rather misleading way for you to ask to go, but if that's what you're after we can hop on over for a quick jaunt, take in the rainbow-hued moons of-"

"For the love of little baby Jesus, Doctor, shut your gob already! I just asked if you remembered it!"

The Doctor shot her an aggrieved glance before straightening out his lapels with injured dignity. "Yes. I do recall the show."

Donna sighed in relief when he didn't go on to sprout more alien nonsense, then skewered him with another expectant look, as if she could beam understanding into his brain. When he continued to stare at her blankly she decided he needed help. "It's about women, and their... their _needs." _She tried to telepathically prompt him with another significant look, just in case some magical metacrisis juju still swirled around her head. "Aaaand?"

"Aaaand..." he parroted back, helpfully, some semblance of realization dawning on his face, "you want me...to...buy you shoes?"

"What?! _That's_ what you remember from the show? No, Doctor, what I want is - wait, are you offering to buy me shoes?"

"Isn't that what they always seem to be blabbering about? Is that what you want?" he dug a hand in his pocket, as if he was going to pull out an unlimited credit chip right then and there.

"No." Realizing she was turning down footwear, Donna backtracked frantically. "I mean, yes! Yes, I do want you to buy me shoes. Later. Don't forget, okay? Shoes are always good." Screw the stereotype, she wasn't about to pass up a shoe-shopping spree! "But, umm, that's not what I'm talking to you about right now. Do remember it for later, yeah?"

At his uncertain nod, she huffed out a breath, relieved the shoe offer was still on the table. "Okay, I need you to focus here. You know, it's called '_Sex_ in the City,'" she stressed.

His hands had traveled into his hair and he scratched his head thoughtfully. "Oh, huh. Fancy a quick stopover in New York?"

Frustration finally won over embarrassment and Donna snapped. "SEX, Doctor, I'm talking about SEX!"

His eyebrows flew up so high and so suddenly she was surprised they manage to stay on his forehead. Then they dropped down just as quickly into a confused frown. Could eyebrows get whiplash?

"I thought we had established that you're a woman. And that it's not…" he vaguely pointed at the cabinet behind him, wary of making the same mistake.

"Not _my_ sex, you dunce! THE sex. As in with other people. Relations. Knowing, in the Biblical sense. Do I need to pull out the thesaurus, here? Fucking," she concluded succinctly.

The Doctor's brow had been steadily furrowing as she spoke, so he looked a bit like a befuddled Shih Tzu when she ended her rant. "Sex? But there is no sex. I've made sure of..." He seemed to forcibly cut off that sentence with a cough that degenerated into full-blown choking for a minute, until she pounded on his back in real concern.

After a bit, voice hoarse, he continued. "I mean, what I mean is, I don't see how you've had the time, I … that's what I mean. I'm pretty certain that…" his voice dropped, shivering across her nerves, "there's been no other man allowed on board."

"No, there hasn't been – time or men. On the TARDIS or off. And that's the problem. I'm a woman, a human woman, with human needs, and a vow of celibacy wasn't exactly discussed in the nonexistent 'how to be a companion' reading material," Donna muttered.

The Doctor couldn't seem to decide whether to flush red or turn sickly pale. It was rather amazing watching him somehow try to do both.

"I didn't know," he almost whispered, "that you were…_needing_."

Donna huffed, so incredibly embarrassed that she wanted to just die, and it only made her angrier. "Why not?! What is this, a Victorian novel? You said so yourself; you've had many human female companions. Don't tell me all of them have been nuns while on board."

He dipped a finger into the knot of his tie. Tried to loosen the fabric that was determined to strangle him. "Well, no."

"Right. So what did…oh." Donna told herself she wouldn't take this personally. She _wouldn't_, she was an adult woman, she would be rational. "Oh, you...and them. I see. 'Cos, uh, you weren't just 'mates' with them."

His eyes widened at what she was obviously inferring. "No! Oh, no no no. It's not like that. I don't do that."

_Sure you don't,_ she wanted to bite out with seething sarcasm. _Lookin' like that; I'm sure you've been a saint._ But that would be catty, so she was going to hold herself back.

"You don't _do_ that. Sure you don't." Okay, so this was a stressful situation and sure some cattiness could be forgiven.

"No, Donna, I don't." His voice was quiet and he looked away, almost ashamed.

Donna stomach plummeted. "Oh. You mean you can't?"

"Of course I can!" he yelped.

"Ah, then." She awkwardly pulled her hair over her shoulder, fiddling. "Huh. I'm not sure what to say here, honestly. D'you…do you rather men, perhaps?"

"No, Donna! I just - look, it's not something Time Lords take lightly. And I have never wanted to complicate my relationships with my companions to want to add that into the mix."

"Soooo, not even with Rose?" she queried tentatively.

The look he returned was dark and forbidding. "No, not even with Rose. Not even close."

Okay, she was just going to let that one drop right there.

"Huh. Back to the point then." She shook herself, as though shaking off unpleasant thoughts. "If it wasn't you, then what was the solution for your other companions?"

"Weeeellll, let's see. Some have had lovers; I'd drop them off every now and then. Others were couples I'd invite on board." He paused, wary. "Rose, for example, had a boyfriend. Mickey. We took him on board for a while."

She forced herself to only look vaguely interested, as opposed to having her jaw hit her chest in shock. It was apparently the right thing to do, as after a cautious glance her way, the Doctor continued. "Jack managed to find five minutes alone in every planet we went to, and really, five minutes was more than enough. Martha…I imagine Martha found solace during the year that never was; ended up engaged to him, after all. And others have fallen in love, found someone that struck their fancy, another planet, another time, and decided to stay."

How awfully sad. He looked so matter-of-fact about being abandoned that Donna wanted to hug him and squeeze him and... Because she couldn't, she got testier. "Oi, well don't be getting any hopeful ideas. I ain't about to jump ship because of a pretty face. Whole of time and space, after all!"

The Doctor looked pathetically hopeful. "You really think that?"

"Well of course I do, you weird alien. If the threat of my brain exploding couldn't keep me away, nothing will. I'm not giving this up for anything!"

He let out a relieved breath. "Well, that's awfully good to know, Donna, that you can't be swayed by a pair of nice biceps and some green eyes on a 37thdcentury man. Probably fakes, you know - the eyes. Not the biceps. Though coulda been. Very advanced plastic surgery practices. Ah, but, none of that matters. Good talk, Donna." He patted her shoulder all friendly-like and started walking out the door.

"Hey! _Hey_, you outerspace, oblivious git, I didn't say we were done with the issue! I still need some_-something. _And I don't take sex 'lightly,' either, the way you put it, but well, it's been a really long time! Months and months and months means a girl needs some options."

The Doctor was frozen by the door, refusing to face her, but his head seemed to be trying to sink into his shoulders.

"So, work with me here." she finished, a bit more quietly.

Suddenly he rounded on her, like a switch had been flipped, and he went from contrite to furious. "Well I'm sorry if exploring the entirety of time and space is getting in the way of your sex life!"

"Don't you turn this on me! You just _said_ your other companions had happy fun sex time. Why am I not allowed?!" she demanded.

He crossed his arms and stayed stubbornly silent, and for some reason Donna felt as if he couldn't take the conversation seriously, not because of the topic, but because it was _her._ Sure she wasn't a pneumatic twenty-year old, but that didn't mean she didn't need some physical attention just like anyone else. It hurt that he would dismiss her so readily.

She swallowed thickly and blinked rapidly to keep tears from rising to the surface. "I'm not asking to find a boyfriend and haul him around. I'm not even asking for you to _do_ anything other than let me meet a few people without always interrupt-"

"Fine," he cut in brusquely.

"Fine?"

"Yes, fine. Whatever you want," he ground out, then stalked off, slamming the medbay door behind him.

Donna reached up to press the palms of her hands hard against her eyes, then exhaled, fluttering her fringe with a great upward sigh. "That went swimmingly."

* * *

_To be continued!_

_I shamelessly stole the "little baby Jesus" lined from the movie "Talladega Nights." Be a doll and review!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Needs Must, Chapter 2**  
Author: Lilac Summers  
Pairing: Ten/Donna,  
Rating: R, language and adult themes

A/N: My Donna cusses like a sailor even more so than usual, due to my frustration in having to rewrite most of this after a computer snafu!

* * *

After that conversation there was a lovely trip to Denzel 7 - which Donna thought might be a good sign, due to the name. Alas, Denzel was not populated by clones of Denzel Washington, as she had hoped, but by giant people-eating lizards. Then they ran away from a near beheading by an honest-to-god Queen of Hearts. And after that there was general mayhem as they accidentally knocked into an asteroid and sent it hurtling into Pluto's orbit.

So, no time for her to try to meet anyone new, regardless of the Doctor's promise.

Finally it was on a quick stop to Earth to visit the family and restock the biscuit supply that Donna figured it was as good a chance as any.

"I've decided I need a night out," she announced breezily as she helped the Doctor carry in the last bag of groceries.

"Lovely idea! Where to? The singular purple moon of Byanzintone has a bar that's well known for it's fish-scale-martinis."

"Uh, yeah, let's put that on the list. Low, low on the list, like number 473 on the 'What Donna Wants to Do' list. No, I mean, I need a night out here."

The Doctor blinked at her, uncomprehending.

"At my old stomping grounds."

"Well, don't know why you'd turn down fish-scale martinis for that, but if that's what you want then let me get my coat."

"_Alone_."

The bag the Doctor carried thumped loudly onto the kitchen table, a few wayward oranges rolling out. Donna snagged them as they made their way to her feet, then looked up to find the Doctor staring at her with wide, haunted eyes.

"Why?" he queried hoarsely.

"You know why. Because of...because of that conversation we had that you said... you _said _ it would be okay and that you understood and that I could have some time. Remember?"

"Of course I do," he said abruptly, eyes shuttering and suddenly becoming unreadable. "And so you want me to stay here so you can go off and-" he made a casual fluttering motion with his fingers before crossing his arms, then leaned a hip on the table. "Well of course, you're free to go do what you silly humans always do."

Donna breathed a very quiet sigh of relief.

"But I don't see why I have to stay here and wait for you. Plenty of things to see in the universe while you're being so basely _human_."

Donna's relief evaporated into panic. "You can't!"

"S'my time machine. I can do whatever I want."

She rushed up to him, stabbing a finger in his face, well aware her hand was shaking in fear. "Don't you dare! You get into the worst trouble by yourself and you said, you _promised_, I could meet people. You can wait here a few hours, it won't kill you. You can't leave me here!" Her voice ended on a shriek, hyperventilating at the idea of being abandoned.

"Donna," his arms unfolded as he tried to make small shushing gestures. She slapped his hands away.

"You said I could travel with you! You can't just leave me because I need some time alone; that's not fair! You can't - you can't leave me behind!" She gasped out, feeling the air catch in her throat.

"Donna," he cut in again, worried, finally taking hold of her heaving shoulders. "Focus on me. Breathe, now. Breathe."

She took a few gasping breaths, futilely fighting back terrified tears and shaking with the effort.

"I didn't mean I'd leave you behind," the Doctor said quietly. "I meant I could go off for a few hours so you could do...what you have to do."

"But what if you don't come back for me!" she sobbed.

"I'd always come back for you. Promise."

"N-n-no," she gulped in air. "You could get lost, or something happens to you, or you get the time wrong," -_ or forget, forget her forever this time _- "and can't come back. No. I'm coming with you. I'm always with you. Forget it. Forget I said anything about finding anyone for anything, ever. I'm fine. We're fine. Let's go."

She took up the bags again, made as if to take them the pantry, but as he called out one more careful "Donna", she dropped the bags to the floor, evaded his hands, and ran away. Pride be damned.

* * *

She was safely ensconced in her room. She knew it was stupid, but somehow she felt as though he couldn't throw her out if she were in here. Not that he ever would, but she couldn't shake off the illogical fear. Because nothing was worth that. She didn't know why the conversation of her going off for a no-strings shag had turned so volatile. But if she never touched another human being in anything but friendship ever again, it would be worth it to stay on the TARDIS, with him.

She heard his soft tread stop outside her door, and his gentle call of "Donna?"

She scrubbed her hands over her face, erasing the traces of smeared eyeliner. Then she stood and went to the door, facing him calmly as she swung it wide. The Doctor stood there, rumpled and worried.

"I would never leave you," were the first words out of his mouth.

Her composure crumpled. "You already did, once."

"It was to save your life, you know that. I can't apologize for it. And I came back, didn't I?"

She nodded, grudgingly. "Only because my brain wasn't going to explode, after all."

"But I came back." He ran a shaking hand through his hair. "I - I don't come back for people, you know. But I came back for you. I'll always come back for you."

She sniffed and scrubbed her hands over her face again. "Then why the attitude?" she asked, honestly confused.

He sighed and looked down at the toes of his trainers. "You're right, you know? I know you're right, about humans needing touch. It's not fair for me to deny you one of your species' most basic needs. Truth?" at her nod, he took another swipe at his hair. She wondered how he had any hair left, with how much he fiddled with it. "I'm afraid of you leaving me, too."

She startled, jaw dropping in surprise. As if she'd ever! "I wouldn't..."

"Humans leave, Donna. I don't blame them. They find something else they need - someone to love, to build a family with - and suddenly traveling is just not that important. Some of my companions have had no choice in leaving, but they would have anyway, at one point or another. So I haven't gone back for them. But you...I don't want to lose you again."

"Oh, Doctor," she sighed. "I'm not looking for another husband. Been there, done that, remember?"

He smiled kindly at her, though there was sorrow deep in his eyes. "Doesn't mean it can't find you again. Don't they say that love finds you when you're not looking?"

"Well I don't care about any of that! This is my life. Nothing else is worth it. I'm not leaving for anything."

He looked at her winsomely. "Just like I told you I wouldn't leave you?"

She had the grace to look abashed. "S'different."

"No it isn't. You don't seem to understand, Donna. You're my best mate. I wasn't any good without you. I don't want you to have cause to leave, either."

She dipped her gaze, embarrassed, until the Doctor cleared his throat and put on a happy voice. "So go ahead! Get all guzzied up or whatever it is you need to do. I...I'll be in the control room, waiting to take you where you want to go."

"And you won't go adventuring without me." She said it like a statement but they both knew it was one last plea for reassurance.

"Nope. I'll catch up on some reading, why don't I? Been meaning to get through several centuries worth of popular fiction. How - uh - how long do you think you'll need?"

Donna blushed, for no apparent reason. "I'll be back before dawn, how about that?"

"Sure. Fine. Good. Uh, I'll just be..." he made a vague motion towards the hallway, then left as quietly as he'd arrived.

But the truth was, she wasn't in the mood anymore.

* * *

Donna stood in front of her mirror, eyeing herself critically. The dress she wore was short and thigh-skimming, glittering when she moved. Dark tights and some truly fabulous shoes finished off the outfit. With her hair straightened and eyes darkened, she could just about convince herself that she was ready for a night of fun.

And if the most that she got out of this night was that she dressed up and got to wear heels instead of flats or trainers, then the night was already a win.

She made her way to the console room to find the Doctor arrayed on the jump seat, an enormous tome in his hands. She lingered shyly, hidden by a coral strut, before taking a determined breath and clicking her way inside.

"I'm ready," she said.

"Great!" The Doctor slammed the book shut and jumped up, not looking her way until he'd stationed himself by the location settings. "Where-" he trailed off, finally taking a look at her.

"Uh..."

Donna toyed self-consciously with the hem of her dress.

"Erm..."

"Wot?!" she finally demanded. "Dress too short? Does it make me look fat?"

The Doctor seemed to shake himself back into place. "No, of course not. You look...lovely." He fiddled with what Donna swore was a Pez dispenser, glued to the console. "Where to?"

"No need to re-park. It's a small club right around the corner from my house. I want to walk, get some air."

"Okay," he nodded absently, before shoving a hand in a pocket to root around. "But wait a minute, I'm sure it's around here some... ah ha!" He pulled out something small in triumph, then rushed her way.

Before she knew it, he had grabbed her hand a shoved the biodamper on her ring finger. It looked exactly like a wedding ring. She scowled. How was she supposed to even have a fighting chance wearing _that?_ "You think I'll need a flippin' biodamper at a club?!" she exclaimed, incredulous.

"It's not a biodamper," he explained, snagging her hand again and bleeping it with the screwdriver even as she tried to swat him away. "Well, not anymore. It's a tracking device."

"Tracking device!"

"In case of emergencies, if we need to go...so I can find you."

"End of the world emergencies _only_!" she clarified. "And that's what cell phones are for!"

"You want me to put the fate of some innocent planet on poor cell phone reception?"' he asked in scandalized tones.

Rolling her eyes, she worked the biodamper-tracking thingy off her ring finger and shoved it on her pointer finger. The Doctor seemed unhappy with this change in location. "Fiiine. But at least try to call me first."

They stood awkwardly for a long moment, neither knowing how to proceed from here. She hated it; hated feeling awkward with him when she never did before. Hated feeling guilty over something she had absolutely no reason to feel guilty about.

Not able to stand the tension any longer, she turned quickly and headed for the doors. "Well, see ya, then." She opened the doors and stepped through, giving the Doctor one last wave that he didn't deign to return.

But once she got to the club it only took a few minutes of her circling around the small space for Donna to know she wasn't going to be heading home with anyone tonight. She waved off the few men who approached her - none of them seemed worth the effort. Not with the mental picture of the Doctor, standing alone and lonely in the TARDIS, embedded in her head.

She resolved to make the most of tonight anyway; enjoy some drinks, put her feet up, look pretty. No reason to crawl back with her tail between her legs just now. At closing she would head off to the TARDIS and the Doctor would be none the wiser at her epic failure. Then she could give it another go in a couple of weeks. Most importantly, however, a precedent had to be set, for some future opportunity.

An hour later she was sitting at the bar, comfortably chatting with a bartender she had known for ages. The night was on the slow side, so he helpfully topped off her drinks while gushing about his 3-month-old baby girl. After the fourth story of how much of a prodigy she was, Donna was attempting to look engrossed by leaning forward intently. The fact that he refreshed her gin and tonic helped tremendously.

"Donna," he broke off suddenly, looking over her shoulder. "You waiting on some bloke?"

"Nah. Told ya, it's just me tonight," she answered, taking a healthy swig of her drink.

"You sure? Cos there's a skinny one by the door who can't stop looking at you."

Donna sputtered and quickly spun in her chair. Then sighed gustily as she saw the Doctor standing by the doors, scowling their way.

"Sweetheart, do you need some help? Want me to call someone to get rid of him?" said the bartender, concerned at the intensity of the glower coming his way.

"Nah," she sighed again, "he's harmless. But thanks." She laid some notes on the counter and waved half-heartedly before dragging her feet towards the Doctor.

"What now?" she whined when she reached him. "Better be the end of the world!" She dug her cell phone out just to be sure. "You didn't even try to call first!"

"Donna!" he greeted, seeming ridiculously relieved to see her. "So glad you're still here. The biodam...uhh...biotracking ring wasn't working at 100% and I thought that maybe-" He was grabbing her hand again, slipping the ring off her pointer finger and placing it decisively back on her ring finger. "There we go! I _knew_ location would affect its efficacy."

Donna took her hand back, allowing herself only one raised eyebrow. She was too tired and disinterested at the moment to call him on his obvious drivel. "So are we saving a planet or what?" she reminded him.

"Right! Ooh, Donna, you'll love this - I got a distress call from Emporia: big problem with sentient cash machines!" He grabbed her hand once more and hauled her back out the doors.

* * *

Donna trudged back into the TARDIS, exhausted beyond belief. She carried her heels in one hand, her tights were ripped, and her carefully straightened hair was a mass of tangles. All she wanted to do was crawl into her bed and not come out for a week.

"Wonderful!" crowed the Doctor, dancing in after her and brimming with energy, as if they hadn't just sprinted out of a building about to explode. "That should teach the Emporians not to mess with cyborgs. Well, for another 300 years at least."

Donna collapsed on the jump seat, head heavy in her hands, even as the Doctor skipped to the controls and set them into the vortex with unnecessary enthusiasm. After flipping the last switch, he shoved his hands in his pockets and tipped his heels back to lean on the console. He surveyed her in a friendly manner.

"So, night is young yet. Want me to drop you off back at the bar?" he offered.

Donna raised her head from her hands and gaped. Was he _crazy_? She looked like she had been dragged through a bush backwards, felt like she'd run miles in heels - because she had! - and he was offering to take her back? She wanted a bath, and bed, and to never repeat this disastrous day again.

She was about to tell him so, but then she took a closer look at him. There was an air of smugness to his stance, and a self-satisfied grin edging his lips. He was well aware the last thing on her mind was going back to the club for another try, Donna thought -_ the bastard_. She felt fury bubble up her chest.

She stood quietly, straightening out her short dress. The rip in her tights had expanded over her entire knee. She carefully reached under the dress' hem and worked the tights down her thighs, ignoring the Doctor's scandalized look. The tights were discarded to the floor, leaving her pale legs bare as she stepped into her high heels again. She shook out her hair and ran her fingers lightly under her eyes, checking for wayward mascara.

"Okay, I'm ready."

The Doctor straightened slowly from his faux-relaxed perch, tense and wary. "You - you want to go back?"

"Yeah, sure. Night's young, as you said. Take me back," she said. She sat down once more on the jump seat, careful of her short hem as she crossed her legs, and waved a hand imperiously towards the controls

"But - I mean - I," he turned towards the controls, flipped a few meaningless switches. "I may have spoken too soon." He swiveled the screen his way and hummed as if in thought. "I think we may need to return to Emporia to make sure..."

Donna broke. She slapped her hands down sharply on the leather seat, making the Doctor jump and whirl to face her. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" she screamed. "Do you think I'm a moron? What the hell is your problem!"

"I don't have a problem," he stuttered nervously.

"You obviously do! And don't give me that rubbish about 'being afraid I'll leave you,' coz I ain't the twit you take me to be. I can see through this farce just as easily as I can see through your piss-poor excuses. You don't want me trying to pick up anyone and I want to know why!"

He stared at her, eyes wide with distress. It absolutely enraged her.

"What is it? Afraid I'll make a bloody fool of myself, is that it? I know I'm not young or pretty - dim Donna and her feminine wiles! Well we both know what you think of my feminine wiles, but that doesn't mean that other blokes can't find me attractive!" she shouted.

"I never said y-" he attempted.

"Not every man I meet wants to only feed me to a giant spider! I don't need you 'looking out for me,' scared I'm going to fall for some dream of a white picket fence and turn into a sobbing mess when it doesn't come true. As if I'm going to fall arse over elbow over any bloke that smiles my way!" she raged.

" I wouldn't-" the Doctor tried to cut in again, frustration starting to win over concern.

"You aren't my father and it's none of your business! Guess what, martian, I'm a big girl and these kinds of decisions aren't the big deal you're making them out to be. If I want to a throw a leg over someone, who the hell are you to stand in my way!"

"I'm well aware I'm not your father. I was -" there was anger in his voice now, though Donna didn't give a fig about that.

"In fact, I don't even know why I'm bothering with a club. Take me to Jack; he'll be happy to take one for the team," she decided.

The sudden silence was thunderous. "I'm not taking you to Jack," the Doctor said darkly.

"Why not? He's offered before. Since you obviously don't trust me alone on my own for one night, then you can have no reason to not let me go to Jack, so just-"

In a rush of movement, the Doctor was looming over her, hands clutching the back rest of the jump seat and bracketing her in. "I'm not taking you to Jack," he repeated harshly.

And then he was kissing her.

Donna's tired brain nosedived from righteous indignation to unadulterated shock. _What was happening?!_

Her hand came up between them. She told her brain to tell her hand to push him away, but obviously her befuddled brain got the signals wrong because her hand was wrapping around his tie, bringing him in closer so she could return the frantic kiss. Which was another mistake her brain was making, because she was sure she hadn't told her lips to do that, either.

Finally the need to breathe had her breaking away, to stare into the Doctor's dark, furious eyes. "What?! I...What?" she managed.

He dove down again, and she made a strangled sound of disoriented pleasure. But her brain was slowly catching up, enough for her to finally get her hands to obey and push him away instead of pulling him closer. "Wait," she gasped, then stared stupidly, "_What_?!"

As in _what the hell!?_

He allowed himself to be pushed away, straightening away from her. His movements radiated contained wrath as he shrugged off his coat. Donna watched it puddle on the ground in disbelief. When she looked back up it was to find the Doctor working the buttons of his jacket loose in slow, deliberate movements. In moments his hands were at his tie, undoing the knot.

Donna dug her fingers into her eyes, unsure how this hallucination had gotten started. But when she reopened her eyes, she was still met with the sight of a Time Lord undressing in front of her.

"Okay," she said quietly, sure she was missing something important. "I'm going to say this one more time, and I know you'll appreciate the sentiment - _WHAT?!_"

"It's what you want, isn't it?" he growled. He began to work on his shirt buttons, fierce, sharp tugs that had the buttons pinging free. His fingers shook with rage.

"But..but...you _don't do that_!" she cried, hands flying up in agitation as she referred to their earlier conversation.

"I'm willing to make an exception. What did you call it, 'take one for the team?'"

That did it, She felt like she'd been smacked across the face. Donna jumped to her feet in outrage. "I don't need a pity fuck from you!"

"You prefer one from Jack?"

Donna hissed - one quick, short inhale of appalled hurt - before her hand was swinging wide in a quick, violent gesture.

The Doctor caught her wrist before it connected, herding her until her back hit the console. They stared at each other, nose to nose, equally livid beyond words.

And they were kissing again, dueling tongues and teeth fighting for supremacy. Donna couldn't tell who had leaned into whom. All she knew was that the Doctor's hand was still tight around her wrist, his other buried in her hair. Her own free hand was gripping his shoulder, nails digging in in retaliation. His weight pinned her to the console and her short skirt was riding up her thighs.

Her brain was back in the game, letting her know that as far as her body was concerned, angry sex would do just fine.

But this wasn't some random chap picked up for a night of mutual, meaningless pleasure. This was the Doctor, her best mate - with whom she was desperately in love, and who didn't love her back - and this was a terrible, terrible mistake.

Donna was wonderfully skilled at making terrible mistakes.

* * *

_To be continued! Hope you're enjoying this little foray into Jealous!Doctor land. Let me know if you are._


End file.
